


amateur

by golden_goose



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: (that's for Dennis), Asexual Character, Drinking, Dubious Consent, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 23:30:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11702115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/golden_goose/pseuds/golden_goose
Summary: Shit. She wants sex.





	amateur

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [SunnyRarePairs](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SunnyRarePairs) collection. 



> The "The Gang Misses the Boat" sex scene except it's Charlie's first time. Ever. Dee manages his skittishness and trauma in completely inappropriate, Dee-like, but ultimately effective ways.
> 
> Warning: Dennis's sex tapes are described in fairly graphic detail in this fic so CW: for rape/non-con and general Dennis behavior.
> 
> Thanks to haemophilus for editing this

Kissing Dee is way less gross than Charlie expected it to be. Even though she’s bony in all the wrong places, her skin is soft and she smells like fancy soap.

Charlie kisses her back passionately but he's not moving to take this any further. When Dee pulls her shirt off over her head, his heart starts to race. _Shit. She wants sex._

Dee reaches for his shirt, but he’s reluctant to take off his own. He won't even lift his arms to let Dee help him with it. 

“Can't we just stick to kissing?” he asks.

“You don't want to have sex with me?” says Dee. The grip on his shirt loosens, and her eyes cast downward.

Charlie wrinkles his nose. Dee glares at him.

“Are you serious? Why the hell did you kiss me?”

“It seemed like the right thing to do at the time,” says Charlie. “ And you’re pretty good at it.”

Dee blushes at his compliment. “I’m good at other things, too, you know.”

_She probably is good at sex_ , he thinks. _Otherwise, why would she get laid all the time?_

But no matter how good she might be, sex makes Charlie nervous. And it seems so _gross_. 

Charlie doesn't have much experience having _real sex_ with _women_ (he doesn't think what he did with Ruby or Stacy even really counted as sex). Sex has never appealed to him either; why everyone around him seems to like it is a mystery. Dennis has been all too happy to describe it in great detail in the past, though more to brag than to teach Charlie anything.

“Here, why don't you have some more to drink.” Dee says, passing him the bottle of Jack Daniels. He unscrews the cap, and chugs it.

Dee smacks his hand. “Save some for me, jerk.”

Charlie puts the bottle down, and wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. “You're the one who wants to have sex with me.”

“Yeah, but it’s my booze.” says Dee.

“Do we have to do this?” Charlie whines.

“Do you seriously not want to have sex with a beautiful woman?” Charlie grimaces at this, so Dee changes her strategy. “It’ll be good, I promise. Just...please, Charlie. It's been too long for me. And you're way too old to still be a virgin.”

“Alright,” he says hesitantly.

…..

After some more liquor and lots more sweet talking from Dee, the two of them wind up in her bedroom, partially disrobed.

“Sit down,” she orders, guiding him towards the bed.

When he complies, Dee rewards him with another kiss, cupping his face with one hand, while the other traces a path down to his zipper. Before he can process what’s happening, she’s freed his cock and gotten a steady hand wrapped around him, and with the first jerk of her fist around him, he can’t help but whimper into her mouth.

He’s disappointed and nervous that he’s done something wrong when Dee pulls away.

_Maybe she’s not enjoying herself? Maybe I’m not good at this?_

His fears are quieted when she drops to her knees in front of him.

Charlie’s fingers creep into her hair and he mimics Dennis, trying to push Dee’s head down. This only earns him a sharp slap to his thigh.

“Knock it off, Charlie."

Startled, his hands move from her hair to his sides.

“No...don’t,” she says hurriedly, reaching for his hands, “Keep your hands in my hair. Just don’t push.”

Dee starts with a few licks to the sensitive head of his cock before eagerly taking him in his mouth, which only leads to a loud “ _Shit!_ ” escaping his lips.

Oddly, Dee seems to enjoy sucking Charlie off, and when he runs a hand through her hair, she lets out a pleased moan around him.

She’s as good as she promised, and Charlie knows he won’t last long. In less than a minute, he can feel his body tensing up. Dee must know from the gripping at her hair and Charlie's shaking legs that he's about to cum.

She pulls off with a loud pop and replaces her mouth with her hand, jerking him quick and mercilessly until his cum splatters his stomach.

Dee rises quickly and reaches for the box of tissues on the nightstand before passing it to him.

“Is that it? Are we done?” Charlie asks somewhat hopefully. He's a little less fidgety now, feeling spent and tired from his orgasm.

“Are you kidding me? I'm not even naked yet, Charlie. Don't you know how sex actually works?”

Charlie’s not sure, so he thinks back to the videos he's seen from Dennis's extensive collection.

_Dennis pushing a girl’s head into the mattress or taping her wrists together. Sometimes the girls cry afterwards. Sometimes they cry during._

Charlie’s not sure why Dee would want that. Unless she wants to do that to him.

“Well...sort of. I've seen some of Dennis's sex tapes, but I don't like ‘em that much,” says Charlie.

“Great. So you don't know anything,” says Dee. “Dennis doesn't know shit about girls, and anyway, I definitely don't want you banging me like my brother would”

“Hey, I know enough. Like...isn't it over once the dude jizzes?” says Charlie.

_Dennis smirking as the girls leave in a hurry after he cums. Giving a wink to the camera before he turns it off._  

“Maybe for you, dumbass, but I still want to get off,” Dee snips, standing up to pull her pants down. “We’re gonna try something else now. You're gonna go down on me.”

“You can do that for chicks?” asks Charlie.

“What, you haven't seen that on any of Dennis’s tapes?” says Dee.

“No,” says Charlie.

“...Figures.”

Dee moves to kiss him again, brushing her fingers against his still over-sensitive cock.

“Do this for me and then we can do something fun for you,” she says in a sultry voice.

“Like….nightcrawlers?”

Dee gives him a confused look. “No, like sex.”

Charlie sighs. “Ok, fine, I'll go down on you, but you're not gonna push my head down or make me gag or anything, right?”

“Oh my god.”

Dee sprawls out on the bed, thighs open to give Charlie access to her pussy, like he’s supposed to know what to do.

He starts by exploring with his fingers, spreading her open, before pushing a single finger inside just to feel.

“Add another,” she says in a breathy voice, “and curl your fingers up.”

Charlie does and he feels Dee’s muscles clench around him.

“Weird.”

“It’s not weird, that’s supposed to happen. Shut up and put your mouth to use.”

He gives her a hesitant lick. It’s not nearly as bad as he was expecting, so her follows it up with another. And another.

“Move your tongue up a little farther. And keep using your fingers.”

He does, until little whines and moans escape from her lips, which only remind Charlie of the girls in Dennis’s tapes.

“Are you okay?” he asks. 

“Huh?” Dee keeps her eyes closed, still desperately moving against his fingers. 

“Like, I'm not hurting you or anything right?”

Dee pauses. “What are you talking about?”

“Sometimes the girls in Dennis's sex tapes make these noises and I think he's hurting them. You're okay right?”

“Ok A) I’m fine and B) if you keep bringing up my brother’s rapey sex tapes, I'm gonna stop and you can jack yourself off.” says Dee.

That's enough for Charlie. He mimes zipping his lips before returning to his task, which only elicits an eye-roll from Dee.

“Oh goddamn, Charlie. Keep going. _Goddamn_ , that’s good.”

Something about Dee’s praise stirs a fresh wave of arousal in the pit of Charlie’s stomach, and when she lets out a particularly loud “ _Fuck!"_  he whimpers into her pussy.

Overwhelmed and confused, he pulls off and winds up panting against her thigh. 

“Why’d you stop?” Dee asks in a desperate voice.

“I-I don’t know. I’m getting turned on again...is that supposed to happen?”

Dee sighs. “Jerk yourself off then. Just keep going. I’m almost there.” 

Charlie’s still unsure of what’s going on, but Dee has a lot of experience banging dudes, so he follows her lead, slowly moving one hand down to touch himself. 

“Hurry up, asshole.”

He goes back to eating her out, working her harder with fingers and tongue, while he works to get himself hard again. Dee does end up pushing his head down before cumming hard against his face, but Charlie’s enjoying himself too much to really care.

He licks his lips and fingers when she finally lets him go. 

“That was actually pretty hot.”

“I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.”

Despite her orgasm, Dee doesn't seem as satisfied as Charlie had hoped, which means he's got to keep going. She tugs Charlie’s hand.

“Get up here.”

Charlie crawls tentatively up the bed until he's directly on top of Dee. He nervously grabs one of her wrists and pins it to the bed.

“What the fuck are you doing?” says Dee.

“Isn't this what I'm supposed to do?” says Charlie.

“What? No! Get off of me!” says Dee. 

“I thought women liked to be dominated during sex. That's what Dennis always says. He says that women are naturally submissive and that they want to ‘serve the cock’.” Charlie adds,  “He’s banged a ton of chicks so he should know.”

“How many times do I have to tell you not to listen to Dennis's advice?” says Dee. “Now just...lie down on the bed.”

“I thought it didn't work like that. Isn't the guy supposed to be on top?”

“Charlie, get on your goddamn back,” she orders. 

Charlie follows Dee’s lead, again in totally unfamiliar territory, watching as she deftly rolls a condom onto his dick before straddling him. 

_This is it. He’s going to have_ real _sex._

She reaches a practiced hand down to grip his cock and slowly guide it inside of her. Both of them groan aloud as she sinks down onto him.

“Oh my god,” he mutters. Dee smirks at him ( _just like Dennis_ ), but when Charlie instinctively tries thrust up against her, Dee’s eyes flutter shut and her mouth drops into an O.

“Mmm, that’s good, Charlie,” she says. He takes this as a sign to keep going. Dee joins him, fucking herself in time with his thrusts and rubbing herself hard. 

The girls in Dennis's tapes never look like Dee does when she's riding him. She's making those breathy sounds again, getting louder and louder.

Charlie feels her tightening around his dick and it’s almost too much. He’s going to cum again soon, and though he doesn’t want to disappoint Dee, he at least feels like he should tell her. 

“I’m close.”

“Me too,” she says, “put your hands on my hips.” 

He does, and Dee kisses him in response. The sensation is all too much and Charlie can’t stop himself from cumming. Dee leans back and keeps grinding frantically until she lets out an unrestrained cry and collapses against his chest.

When Charlie comes back down, he finds that Dee is still lying on top of him, her body hot and sweaty. He pushes gently until she rolls off of him. 

She looks at him with a grin as she ties off the condom, “So? What did you think?” 

“It felt good.”

“That’s it? ‘It felt good’?” Dee says, confused.

“Yeah, it felt good...but I still don’t know if I like sex.”

It seems like Charlie has hit a nerve. “You certainly seemed to like it when I sucked your dick. Or when you came inside of me.”

“I know, but sex is gross. Like, it’s where you pee out of and it’s slimy.”

“You think that sex with me was ‘gross’. Thanks a lot, Charlie.” 

Dee rolls over to face away from him, leaving Charlie to stare up at her ceiling, alone.


End file.
